


Sydney Changes Things

by Lena204



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Adult Content, Alternate Universe - Not Related, Children, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-03-13
Updated: 2012-03-14
Packaged: 2017-11-01 22:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/361909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lena204/pseuds/Lena204
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What are you suppose to do when your girlfriend gets pregnant and then goes hysterical about it, not to mention no one is happy.......Just move on and do what you can to survive, it's not the child's fault.......</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Bill is 17 at the very start of the story and is 19/20 in later chapters. This is not a sterotypical high school story, that I can promise!

_‘Why am I running so damn late today? I woke up on time this morning!’_ I think to myself in annoyance as I put on a few necklaces that match my black and silver shirt. Looking down at it, I see the silver cross glinting up at me in the early morning light coming from my window. 

 

“Hope Kamala likes it,” is all I mutter to myself before shoving on the usual rings on my skinny fingers and rush through drawing on the black eyeliner with the pencil Kamala had recently given me, my finger brushing against my eyebrow piercing.

 

“You’re going to be late Bill!” I hear mom yell up the stairs just as I grab my heavy brown messenger bag and throw it over my shoulder before closing my bedroom door behind me.

 

“I know mom! I’m going, I’m going!” I yell back, tugging on my tongue ring in annoyance before I just roll my eyes as I thump down the stairs and head out the front door with a wave before jumping into my small SUV, feeling that I really should bring it today.

 

~*~*~*~

 

I pull up into my parking spot at school with plenty of time to spare before the first bell rings. I don’t even have my door open before there are a group of guys jerking it open, “Hey man! You’re finally here!” one of them shouts as he pulls me out of the SUV, causing me to stumble over my own feet.

 

“Yea, barely made it out my house in time.” I say with a frown, pushing my recently black dyed hair out of my face as I reach back into my SUV to pull out my messenger bag and throw it over my chest.

 

“Glad to see ya man, hate that you couldn’t make it to the party the other night! Man, it was amazing! I mean we had kegs and everything!” James says with a dreamy smile on his face as he looks to be reliving that particular party.

 

“Sorry, I couldn’t come. Wasn’t able to get Kamala out of the house. Sounds like it would have been pretty awesome.” I tell him with a roll of my eyes as I pull out of Allen’s grasp on my arm and walk away from the group of guys that gathered around me in the few minutes since I have been on campus.

 

Having been on campus only for a brief time and still not seeing my girlfriend anywhere, she is normally eye catching the moment she comes into view.

 

“Kamala!” I yell across the courtyard to my girlfriend. She always looks really nice at school but I've noticed that recently she's been wearing sweats and hoodies, something that is very much unlike her… especially with no jewelry!

  
Looking around the courtyard of our high school, there are a lot people milling around in their little groups. School hasn't started yet; my watch says there is another 20 minutes until the first bell rings. She is standing with a few of her friends around her; they are off to the side from the main area.  But I notice that she isn't really paying them any mind.

 

Seeing her standing there, I think back to last weekend when I was able to sneak Kamala out of her house so we could go to a beach party which was put on by a few of the seniors. She looked liked one of those goddesses her family worships to religiously, coming down the trellis wearing a bright orange and pink sarong and a matching top along with the hot pink cover that I bought her for her birthday. The full moon shining above gave her an ethereal glow that was enhanced by the glitter of her makeup and jewelry. I do remember that I couldn’t keep my eyes or hands off of her the entire night.

  
I jog over and give her friends a little smile before turning my full attention to Kamala. We've been together for 18 months and they have been wonderful. Her parents aren't too happy about us but we've continued on anyway. They are very strong in their beliefs and part of that is they only marry other Indians. I don't know if marriage is in our future, but it hasn't been completely pushed aside either.

  
“Hey” I say quietly, understanding that she looks like she is not feeling good. It's obvious when you know her since she's not even wearing any make-up or straightened her long, black hair. That's a staple for her appearance outside of the house. 

  
“Oh, hey Bill.” She mutters once she glances up at me, her gorgeous brown eyes start to look glassy as she huddles more into herself. Her hoodie probably belongs to her older brother, so it easily swallows her.

  
“What's wrong?” I ask in concern as I wrap an arm around her waist. I know she's not sick because she wouldn't be here. Kamala's mom has something against letting her children out of the house when sick. She thinks they'll get worst.

  
“I...We...Their....” She starts to say but always cuts herself off, never brings her gaze up from looking down at the dead grass under our shoes. When I look down, I notice that she is wearing tennis shoes; Kamala rarely wears anything that doesn't have at least two inches on the heel. That's partly why we work so well since I'm already six-foot-3 and she's five-foot-six without heels, we match up nicely. I hear many people around school, hell even when we are at the mall, talk about how perfect we are for each other since we compliment one another so well between the way we dress and our physical looks.

  
“Hey, babe.” I tell her simply, putting a finger underneath her chin to lift her gaze to meet mine. She knows I hate having conversations face to face if I can't see her eyes, I always feel as if I'm missing something. “Come on, tell me what's wrong. You know you can tell me anything.” I add with a small smile hoping to put her at ease about whatever it is.

  
Kamala knows I hate it when she is unhappy and that I will go out of my way to make her feel better. When it comes to the people in my life, I take their happiness very seriously. 

  
“Bill, did you drive today?” She suddenly asks me out of the blue after a few moments of silence passes between us that is only filled by the talk floating around us, but that means nothing to me.   
  


“Yea” I reply with a nod as I adjust one of my many necklaces around my neck, something told me not to wear the heavy one with the locket and keys on it. That necklace always bothers my neck with the weight of it. 

  
“Good, let’s leave and we can talk. I have something really important to tell you but I don't want to do it here.” She says as I notice the glassy look coming over her eyes once more, her bottom lip trembling. 

“Of course, come on. We can go to my house, no one is there.” I say as I steer her towards the parking lot I had just come from and towards my small SUV that my family gave me for my 16th birthday. 

  
I already had a feeling that something was going to change between us, but not really sure what or how big it was going to be.....

  
~*~*~*~

  
What do you guys think?  
  
Please leave feedback and let me know. I have the next 3 chapters written. 


	2. Chapter 1

  
We were sitting in the living room of my house, it wasn't a huge house but it was enough room for us to not get in each others way. The TV was off, the only thing I could hear was Kamala shifting around on the couch cushion and the clock ticking away the minutes. My mom was off at work, so I wouldn't have to worry about her coming home until much later in the day.   
  
"What's wrong Kam?" I ask her after the silence kept on stretching with the continuous ticking of the clock; I just couldn't take it any longer.  
  
"Bill....I....We only did it that one time but...." She finally started to say only to trail off as she hid her face in her hands, her shoulders starting to shake up and down with her silent sobs.

  
"I'm...." I start to say but stop as I don't really know what I could say to her, sorry wasn't right. The only thing I could do was place my arms around her and hug her to me as I rock her back and forth until she calms down.  
  
When the sobs seem to dissipate and the hic-ups became manageable, "Alright, lets try this again Kamala. What's going on?" I say as I brush a piece of her black hair out of her face that was sticking to her cheek due to the tears.   
  
"I....You..." She starts to say before pausing and looking down at the floor, "BillI'mpregnant." Kamala finally gets out all in one rushed breath; I didn't even fully process it. I just sat like a stone as the words kept going in repeat in my mind before I was finally able to grasp them. "You're pregnant?" I say at last as I put my entire sight on her, not once looking anywhere else.

 

‘What the hell! I’m only a Junior in high school, can’t even vote yet or buy alcohol, how am I going to be able to be a father?’ I think to myself still keeping my sight on Kamala’s tear stained face, ‘She must be going through it worst than I am, as she is actually pregnant, but what am I suppose to do? Abortion isn’t a viable solution; mom would kill me if she was to ever find out. Kamala’s pregnant…my girlfriend is pregnant—with my child. I am going to be a father in high school…shit!’  
  
"Yea, I found out for sure last night but I suspected for a little while." She whispers as she wraps her arms around her stomach and puts her gaze at the far wall.   
  
' _Kamala is....pregnant_!' Is the only thought bouncing around my head as I stare dumbly at her, watching her shiver beside me even though she's wearing thick sweat pants and a hoodie. Breathing deeply for a few moments, "Okay...." I start to say but trail off as I try and figure out where we should go from here.   
  
"What do you want to do Kamala?" I ask her as silence continues to stretch between us and I make a vow to myself that she would not go through this alone.  
She continues to stare ahead so I repeat myself, "Kamala? What do you want to do?"   
  
"I...I...don't know." She finally whispers, turning her gaze onto me. When I look into her eyes, I can see how scared she is.   
  
"Well...we will figure this out..." I tell her as I gather her into my arms, she is limp and allows me to pull her as close as possible. My strength is probably the only thing holding her together.  
  
"We have to tell our parents." Comes out of my lips before I consciously realize what I was thinking but I also know it's true. We can't do this alone.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  


We both stay at my house, curled around each other on the couch with the TV on mute while it showed music videos. Not a single word is said after I stated our parents had to know, Kamala just nodded in agreement and then broke down into tears once more.  
  
I continue to stare at her and then her heavily concealed stomach, still trying to wrap my mind around it all.   
  
_'I'm going to become a father. Kamala is carrying my child.'_ Is the only thought floating through my head as I just count the minutes ticking by while holding the mother of my unborn child in my arms. She had stopped crying a little while ago, now she is just quiet as she is seemingly staring off somewhere.

 

An unknown amount of time finally passed when my mother walked through the front door juggling some grocery bags in her arms. “Hey kids. What do you both want for dinner?” She asks over her shoulder as she continues on into the kitchen, not once looking back at us.

 

Before I can say anything back, Kamala stirs in my arms and looks up at me with fear obvious on her face. “Shh” I tell her softly with a smile, placing a kiss on her forehead.

 

I knew my mother wasn’t going to be happy with the thought let alone the idea of me having a child so young but nonetheless they would welcome the unborn child with open arms. Kamala’s parents on the other hand I was worried about, as they already didn’t approve of our relationship so I could only imagine how it will be once they know she is pregnant. I am suppose to only be a passing fancy in the daughter’s life before she settles down with an appropriate Indian man.

 

“So, how was school today?” My mother asks in her perky voice as she bounces back into the living room with having put all of the groceries away. I just look over at her and from the look on my face; she knows something is going on. The smile falls from her lips and her posture become stiff.

 

“What’s going on?” She asks seriously as she takes a seat on the love seat across from us. My mother never misses anything, probably comes from being a counselor at a local elementary school.

 

Kamala gets out of my embrace and sits up, facing my mother but continues to stay curled up in herself and not meeting anyone’s eyes. I look between both my mother and Kamala before realizing that I’m going to have to do all of the talking. “Mom…See um…something has happened and well…we didn’t go to school today…well we did but um…we left and came here….” I start to say, trying not to lie to her as my mother can sniff out a lie from the other side of the house but when I glance over at her she seems to just know something more is coming.

 

I stop and take a deep breathe, looking over I see Kamala just trembling but continuing to look down at the rug. “Mom…um….Kamala….she’s kinda…um…pregnant?” I finally get out stumbling over every word trying to get out of my mouth. Probably not making any sense but when I finally get my self to look up I see that my mother is just sitting across from us with this open mouth look of surprise on her face.

 

The three of us seem to just sit in silence for awhile except for the ticking of the clock, just like earlier. Time seems to always be ticking by.

 

“Well…So…I see.” My mom finally gets out after she seems to snap herself out of the shock from the news.

 

Glancing over to Kamala who has turned her face back down towards her knees; I can feel her body shaking next to me. Looking over to my mom, I wrap my arms around Kamala’s shaking body and pull her as close as I can with her bundled up in the overly large hoodie. She allows me easily, but she still doesn’t make any movements. I think she is scared of what my mom will do, all of my friends adore my mother and none of them ever want to deal with my mother’s wrath.

 

“Kamala honey.” My mother says after a few more moments of silence which is when she probably realizes that she is going to have to make the first move.

 

“Yes, ma’am.” Kamala replies as she peeks her eyes up from over her knees. Her eyes look bloodshot, it’s obvious she’s been crying heavily. She wipes at her nose as she sniffs a few more times but continues to stay curled up against my side.

 

“Have you talked to your family about this at all?” My mother asks as she bends down a little, trying to bring herself closer to the two of us.

 

I can feel Kamala seize up beside me and tries to scoot away from me but I hold her tight and won’t allow her to escape from my grip. “What is it babe?” I ask her in concern as I try to look at her face but she keeps looking away from us.

 

“I…I told Hajari…He told me to…to um…get it taken care of.” Kamala finally stutters out before hiding her face in her knees again, leaving both my mother and I completely slack jawed. All I can do is just look at my utterly distraught girlfriend who is now carrying my child and just the thought of this new life being extinguished before it can begin just makes my brain shut down.

 

I hear my mother clear her throat, looking over at her I see her face settle into a new hardened set which means she has made up her mind. “Honey that is not an option. We are here for you and everything will be taken care of from here on out.” My mother tells her as she nods at us before getting up and going back into the kitchen.

 

I rub my free hand up and down her back, trying my best to sooth her and get her calmed down. “My entire family is here for you. Nothing bad will come to you or our child.” I tell her softly as I continue to hold her close to my body and allow her to just release all of her pent up emotions. The sobs and gasping cries are almost too much for me to take but I know she needs this.

 

Keeping my arms wrapped firmly around her shaking frame, I think to how my family will take the news of a new addition being added to the family so suddenly. Mother of course isn’t happy but she wont shun me or the baby, both of my grandparents will be ecstatic to have a great-grandchild to spoil as much as possible; as for my two aunts and five uncles, I’m not entirely sure how they will take the news. One of my uncles is gay, so I’m pretty sure he will be happy of the news and my two aunts will be too as the pressure will be off from them to have any children by my grandparents….not entirely sure of my four uncles though.

 

~*~*~*~

 

If only I had known that from then on, things would get gradually worse and more complicated.

 

Mother wanted Kamala to move in with us, to make sure she is well taken care of but her family would not have it. They were not supportive of this pregnancy at all. I was going over there everyday after school and eventually as her pregnancy progressed further along, I was going over there everyday to pick her up in my car as we didn’t want her exerting herself too much.

 

Frequently I would arrive in the middle of a shouting match, most of it I never understood a word of what was spoken as it was all in their native tongue of Hindi but other times I would understand it all completely.

‘You are a black stain upon our immaculate family. Why can you not be more like your sister Mahesa who is just what a perfect Hindu woman should be.’

‘Get this business taken care of Kamala, you are setting a bad example for Avatari and Denali. Do not go giving them any ideas of what is allowed in America, I will not allow it in this house! If I had known what coming here would do to you, I would have left you back in India.’ This particular shouted conversation lasted for close to 45 minutes before I was able to pull her out of the suffocating house and into my SUV, that day we didn’t make it to school.

‘I only allowed you to get involved with that…that boy because you promised me, you promise your family that you would uphold your betrothal after school. We provide you with roof, clothes, food, and a good education and you pay us back by...by…allowing that boy to defile you like this!’ Her mother is in a particularly foul mood that day and from what Kamala mentioned about being up most of the night hugging the toilet explained why.

 

This was just early on into the pregnancy before Kamala was even showing.

 

When it came out that Kamala was pregnant…it wasn’t pretty. We got dirty looks; most of our group of friends shunned us and refused to have anything to do with us. I think it had something to do with their parents but I never heard anything for sure on that.

 

Her family was absolutely not helpful to her or to our baby. They wouldn’t take her to any of her doctor appointments, get her any new clothes as she gradually got bigger, buy her any prenatal vitamins or tried to be helpful in any sense of the word. A few times I’m almost positive they tried to abort her but thankfully my mother and I caught it quickly enough that the baby was saved.

 

Once Kamala was too far for a legal abortion to even be possible, her family turned into people that you see in movies. She became pretty much shunned by her relatives both far and near. I even heard snatches of conversation that her older sister was so embarrassed by Kamala’s surprise pregnancy that she refuses to acknowledge her. I could see how much it was all wearing on Kamala that she just gradually became more and more depressed.

 

She went from being the ‘it’ girl in school and a princess in her family’s eyes to being this unwanted and dirty thing that no one wanted anything to do with. Her appearance consisted of sweat pants, all stolen from her brothers probably, and hoodies that were so baggy they didn’t show any of her once proud figure.

 

From the very first time that Kamala brought me home to her family as her boyfriend, they never liked me. I wasn’t Indian. I wasn’t of Hindu belief. I wanted to become a chef which to them wasn’t a prestigious enough career. They kept throwing in both of our faces that Kamala’s older siblings are all doing extremely well.

Nitesh, her oldest brother, is a lawyer and is regarded very highly in his field of expertise with journals being thrown in our faces stating that very fact over and over again.

Hajari, an older brother by a few years, is currently in medical school to become a surgeon. Of course he goes to one of the best schools and does extremely well in his classes with printouts of his grades on the refrigerator.

Mahesa, an older sister by two years and I remember very well when she was in school. She isn’t in college instead her parents married her off to some extremely wealthy guy in Canada, already has two kids and expecting another.

Kamala has two younger siblings that are still in Middle school so thankfully their amazing achievements can’t also be thrown in our face.

 

Holding Kamala in the doctor’s office as he tells her that she is at high risk of losing the baby in her seventh month due to her high amount of stress, I look over at my mother standing nearby and I feel so lost at what I should do. This isn’t a situation she can help with.

 

For the past seven months, my entire family has been nothing but supportive no matter how far away they live. My grandparents have already made a trip down to see us and are nothing but excited about the coming baby. Both of my aunts have been showering us with gifts for the upcoming baby despite us not knowing the sex. My one uncle who is gay has been by the house multiple times to check on us and help as much as he can.

Thinking back to the obvious differences, it’s rather surprising that the stress of the situation is just now catching up to Kamala.

 

Looking at her, laying down on the examination table, she is truly a glowing goddess. Pregnancy does look good on her despite the bags under her eyes, stringy and obviously unwashed hair, make-up free face and the ugly blue and green hospital gown she is wearing over her bulging belly.

 

When we finally walk out of the doctor’s office with my mother leading the way and me pretty much holding Kamala up right. “I can’t do this anymore Bill! I don’t want to go through all of this just to end up losing it.” She tells me quietly as she keeps a firm grip on my bicep.

 

Glancing down, I see how defeated she has become over the past few months and I know that if I want this baby to come in the world healthy and alive then it will be up to me to make sure it happens because apparently Kamala has completely given up and allowed her family to win. I rub my hand around her now very apparent protruding belly only to have her push my hand away.

 

“Don’t touch me or it. I just want to be left alone.” She tells me angrily as she lets go of me and waddles up to my mother who has just opened the door to the backseat of my blue Ford Edge.

 

I have noticed that her depression has become even worst recently as she has completely withdrawn into herself. If anyone even tries to touch her or the baby, she’ll snap at us and push us away. I have also noticed that she doesn’t rub her belly any longer like I remember her doing when we first found out. Then she was ecstatic about the pregnancy despite her family’s wishes and views but now it appears it has all become too much for her. The most unsettling thing for me is how Kamala is now referring to our unborn child as ‘it’ instead them or he/she like in the beginning.

 

We’ve been given the option to be told the sex of our child plenty of times but Kamala refuses. She tells me that she wants to be surprised but I now have come to the conclusion that she doesn’t want to become attached to our child. Whenever I bring up potential names for our child, she always changes the subject or just tells me not now. I’ve given up even trying and now I turn to my mom and other family members for help.

 

“I’ve just got two more months of this pain and then it will all be over.” I hear her mutter when she adjusts the pillows in the backseat for her back pain before managing to buckle the seatbelt. I pretend like I don’t hear her and just turn my attention on the road ahead of us as my mother drives us back to our house.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you see how different this story is going to be from a sterotypical high school fic.....
> 
> Please enjoy!

I huff out a breath of air as I let a heavy box drop to the currently empty living room. Looking around, it’s rather astonishing how much stuff can be boxed up that defines two people’s entire lives. 

Sydney’s playing blissfully content in her playpen I setup the moment I drove up to our new home. I didn’t want to have to worry about her getting into things. Every time I look at her, I still remember the last time I saw Kamala. 

*~*~*

I woke up from a dead sleep for some unknown reason. After staying at Kamala’s for most of the night trying to calm down our month old daughter, I managed to catch a few hours of blissful sleep. Sydney just didn’t like sleeping so we always had to fight with her. As usual, her family was completely unwilling to help and complained about the noise.

Walking into the kitchen, just in my boxers, I grab the milk carton out of the fridge with every intention of drinking directly from it. The ringing of the doorbell interrupted my motions; I cast a look at the milk before placing it back into the fridge and going to the door.

In front of me is Kamala with her eyes bloodshot, black hair haphazardly pulled into a ponytail, and tears running down her cheeks as she continuously bounces Sydney up and down. Her baby bag is slung over Kamala’s shoulder and her car seat is on the ground in between us. 

“What’s wrong?” I ask in concern as I hurriedly cross the space between us and gather Sydney in my arms. The moment I have her pulled close to my chest, she calms down. I just watch her snuggle in my bare chest before promptly passing out.

“I-I can’t do that for her!” She exclaims before starting to sob as she just continues to watch us. 

“Come on inside, Kamala.” I say quietly with a sigh, reaching down with a hand for the empty car seat before leading her into the living room. This room has seen many interesting conversations; it’s the place everyone seems to congregate.

‘I want to just pull my hair out! She knows that Sydney can sense when we are too wound up, I have told her this, my mother has told her this, hell even my grandmother told her this! I just don’t understand what more I can do or say to let her know that Sydney won’t go to sleep if she is so frazzled.’ I think to myself as I feel the threads of my sanity start to unravel even further as I gaze down at my now sleeping daughter who has her little hand balled into a fist which she promptly shoved into her toothless mouth. A soft smile escapes onto my face as I continue to think of the wonder that is this little being in my arms.

“I-I can’t do this Bill. I thought I could. I wanted to but….but I just can’t!” She starts mumbling, breaking me out of my thoughts, and collapses on the couch with the baby bag still slung over her shoulder. 

‘I’ve been waiting for this melt down to come but I thought it would have come later when Sydney starts crawling or walking.’ I think to myself as I let out a huff of breath before placing the finally sleeping infant into her car seat before taking a spot next to Kamala. 

It’s obvious that she hasn’t slept a wink last night nor has she bothered to take a shower.   
“Talk to me babe.” I simply say as I gather her into my arms and just hold her as I allow her to sob. 

I’m not sure how much time passes between us before she finally gathers herself together and pulls away. Something has changed in her eyes, a firm resolve like I have never seen before.

“Here is her bag with everything. I have her crib and bassinet in the trunk.” She tells me simply before completely pulling away from me, gives me a peck on lips, and places the baby bag on the ground by my feet before walking back to the front door. All I can do is stare at our sleeping child. 

‘How could someone just walk away from her? She is complete perfection, made because of us. She is half of us. I will be remembered because of her.’ 

I get snapped out of my thoughts by the front door slamming shut again, which startles Sydney into screaming. I hurriedly gather her into my arms, shushing her before she calms down. Looking up, I glare at Kamala with the various baby paraphernalia in her arms before just dropping them on the floor. She gives me a look before walking out, slamming the door one last time. I hear her car start up and drive away. 

Kamala probably thinks of us just how she left us, all jumbled up and confused but I will pick everything up and put it in its place. My little girl will grow up smiling and giggling! 

*~*~*~*

That day was the worst day of my life but also the best. I have received a few postcards from Kamala since; they mostly are just letting me know that she is still alive. I have primarily raised Sydney on my own with a little help from my family and friends since then. 

‘My life would be completely lost without their help. I can’t even imagine going through my senior year of high school with an infant who is teething alone.’

When I decided to move out for college, the fighting that broke out was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Mom wanted me to stay at home with Sydney, but I firmly refused. 

I apparently received an inheritance from a great-aunt that I would come into possession of if I graduated from high school and applied for college. It’s enough money that I don’t have to worry about working and can put all of my attention on school and Sydney. 

‘Don’t get me wrong,’ I was worried the entire drive up that I was making the wrong decision but I also know I would always second guess myself if I didn’t. I always want my daughter to go for what she wants, never feel like she can’t go for it. My daughter is all I think about now, everything else takes a backseat. I don’t dress as fashionably like I once use to in high school or bother to look absolutely perfect before walking out the house. ‘Hell most times I’m lucky if I can manage to be up and out of the house on time with having a shower and putting on clean clothes.’

I am brought out of my thoughts by a banging coming from Sydney’s playpen; going over to her, I see her standing proud in the little pen while she holds onto the side with a death grip. 

“Juice” She firmly tells me as she bounces on her chubby legs. I can’t help but chuckle at her before turning to get her cup of juice from the refrigerator. 

“Alright honey, juice it will be.” I tell her as I go over to the fridge and see her cup sitting lonely on the empty shelves. All I have been focused on is getting our stuff packed and up here in time for when school starts, unfortunately mom refused to come up saying I would be back down soon enough. 

I love my mother dearly, but she can be so pigheaded some times, especially when she doesn’t want to admit that she is wrong. I’ll probably call her later on in the week once Sydney and I are settled. 

“Now, Daddy!” Sydney’s little voice yells into the empty apartment as I hear the creak of her playpen from where she is still probably jumping up and down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think? Thoughts on Kamala....about Bill's future?
> 
> I have quite a few ideas of what is going to happen next, in fact chapter 3 is done, just needs to be revised.
> 
> Please review!!!


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the chapter from hell!!!!

The rest of the week ran pretty smoothly, despite running around trying to get all of the last minute paperwork turned in at the registrar’s and financial aid office at school. Doing all of this wouldn’t be such an issue if it wasn’t for the fact of having to lug around a two and a half year old in an unknown city.

 

Thankfully I’ll be able to drop Sydney off for a few hours today to allow for her to get comfortable at her new daycare. This will allow me to get the last bit of school stuff taken care of and hopefully some shopping done as well. I do need to be careful about how much I’m spending as it does need to stretch pretty far but everything I need to get are essentials plus there is a small child that needs to be taken into consideration.

 

Looking at her, standing up in her playpen with her little short, stubby arms grasping onto the rail with all of her might makes me positive that I am doing what is right for us. I am making the right decision that will allow for me to give Sydney a better life.

 

Currently the only room in this small apartment that is fully furnished and decorated is Sydney’s. Everything else is either half done or boxes are just put in the room. Maybe later I’ll be able to get the apartment half-right but knowing me most of the boxes will get pushed to a corner and forgotten about until needed.

 

“Come on little girl, time to go out into the world.” I tell her with a soft smile as I lean down and pick her up from the playpen. Grabbing her diaper bag has become an afterthought followed by my wallet, keys, and cell phone; all of which I have started keeping on a small table by the front door.

 

“Yay! Going outside, Daddy!” She squeals right into my ear as she claps her hands in excitement.

 

Wincing at the high decibel of her squeal, “Yeap babygirl, going out,” I say with excitement as I scan around the still jumbled apartment making sure I’m not missing anything but after a moment I just shrug my shoulders and continue out the door, down the stairs to my car.

 

Despite having a reliable car that was barely three years old, mother insisted on me getting a brand new car before leaving. She didn’t want for there to be any possibilities of us breaking down or any kind of safety issues. Truthfully, I was rather nervous having a new car.

 

“Where we going?” Sydney asks me with excitement clear in her voice as I strap her in her car seat, she wiggles and pulls at the straps. I smack her hands and reprimand her which causes her to settle down to pout for a few moments. Then she is back to being her usual happy, carefree self.

 

“I am taking you to your daycare today, just for a little while so Daddy can get some stuff done.” I tell her gently as I turn on the car and backup, becoming nervous suddenly about sending my baby girl to a place without me.

 

“Okay daddy, make new friends!” She exclaims in excitement before clapping her hands. Thankfully I had already encouraged the idea of going to a place where other children were in order to make friends. I was worried that she had become too attached to me and not want to spend time with children her own age.

 

I just shake my head at her; she’s always excited about getting to leave the house and doing things. Probably once we get there and she realizes I’ll be leaving her there, she won’t be as excited but this is something that needs to happen.

 

“Yeap, you’ll get to make new friends and play with other kids.” I reply with a soft smile as I push in the children’s sing-along CD that she loves to listen to in the car.

 

 _‘The things that I do for my child._ ’ I think to myself in chagrin as I glance once at the blasted case before turning my eyes onto the road before me, still not comfortable navigating this new city.

 

~*~*~

 

“Are we here?” I hear her soft voice speak up after the quiet car ride; Sydney had drifted off earlier into the ride. That allowed me to have my own quiet nervous breakdown about being away from Sydney without a family member watching her.

 

Since the day she was born, Sydney has always been in the care of a family member including the brief time that Kamala was in the picture. It’s the issue that I don’t know anyone who will be looking after her or anything about the place.

 

This daycare was recommended by people from my new school and since I didn’t know of any other place, I decided to give it a shot.

 

Pulling up to the place, I feel a sudden swarm of butterflies fill me and my hands start to sweat as I grasp the keys to pull out of the car’s ignition, but I can’t seem to pull it out. With the car being at a complete stop, I hear her start squirming to try and get out of her car seat which prompts me into action as I hurriedly get the keys out, in my pocket and my body out of the front seat.

 

“Get out daddy, get out” She says with a pout as she pulls on her straps and looks at me with watering eyes.

 

That look could get me to do anything; thankfully, she hasn’t realized that yet.

 

I hurriedly get her out, onto my skinny hips along with her diaper bag on my free shoulder. Taking a deep breath, I try to steel myself for any and all disparaging comments I’m sure to be on the receiving end the moment I walk into this new place.

 

Looking up at the swinging sign above the walkway, Kiddy Kottage etched into an obviously homemade wooden sign.

 

“Okay…this looks friendly enough.” I mutter to myself as I squeeze Sydney to myself before forcing my legs to go forward, and the next thing I realize I hear a little bell ding over my head as the white painted wooden door opens.

 

“Hello and welcome to Kiddy Kottage” A perky brunette says as she seems to bounce in her seat, bringing attention to her well-endowed chest. If she was to lean any further across the counter I’m sure there would be some indecent exposure.

 

Giving her a tight smile and a small squeeze to Sydney’s now squirming body still in my arms, “Thank You, I’m here to drop off Sydney Kaulitz.” I tell her with a glare, hoping it would get her to act decently instead of some brainless bimbo, at this rate I don’t know if I want to leave my child in the care of a place who would hire someone like this.

 

“Ahh, I see. Let me ring Mrs. T as I only see you down for a partial day.” She says with a frown on her face as she picks up the phone by her elbow and punches a button.

 

With what I’m being presented with so far does not making me feel comfortable leaving my daughter here. Biting the corner of my lip in annoyance, I shift my weight which causes my sneakers to squeak on the obviously very clean floors. I have to force myself to not just screw this place and run out the door with Sydney firmly in tow.

 

I hear the clacking of shoes coming down a hallway off to my side, “Hello Mr. Kaulitz! So lovely to meet you in person.” A sweet, motherly voice says as the clacking comes closer. I see a tall, statuesque woman before me with naturally wavy red hair and very appropriate clothing for a childcare facility, a simple white t-shirt and khaki cargo pants. This appearance puts me at ease instantly.

 

Giving the woman a small smile and a nod in return as a greeting, I keep a firm grip on Sydney in my arms as I am not yet willing to allow myself to let her go until I am sure she will be safe even if it’s only for a few hours.

 

“I can see this is your first time using a childcare service.” She says simply as she holds out her hand, “My name is Lauren Trumper and I am the owner of this facility. I can assure you that Sydney will be in the best of care during her time here with us.”

 

Nodding at her introduction and taking her hand in a shake, feeling surprised at how soft and smooth her hands are but not taken aback by the firm, solidness of her grip. This is someone who knows how to take control.

 

“That is good to know.” I tell her simply as I look around and see various child characters up on the walls around the room; everything is bright and vibrant.

 

“From looking at her file, I see that Sydney is an only child and that she is not normally around children her own age.” Lauren Trumper goes on to say as she motions me to follow her down a clean hallway. A quick look into a few open doors show that they lead into classrooms with children happily playing in them - with at least one adult supervising, of course.

 

“Yes, ma’am. She has been in the company of family her entire life never once has she been around anyone her own age.” I say simply with a nod of agreement as I feel Sydney wiggle in my arms as she makes sounds of wanting to be put down, to probably run around and play with all of the toys, “Not right now honey, I’ll put you down in a moment.” I tell her quietly as I run a hand over her dark brown curly hair which does nothing to tame it, nothing ever does.

I watch her start to pout and look at all of the toys around us with longing; she has plenty of toys back at the apartment to play with.

 

Turning my attention back to the woman before me, I catch her giving us a soft smile before turning her back to us and walking into a room with an open door.

 

“This will be her classroom. There are only five other children currently in her class and one adult will be present in this room at all times. No child is every left alone.” She says, motioning around the room and I’m surprised by how organized and clean the room is as a whole compared to some of the nightmares I’ve had about this moment. No nasty smell in the air or broken toys littered around the room with unattended children running around. It’s all very friendly and welcoming, a place I could probably come to like and not mind paying the large fee per a week to keep her in this place.

 

“She is allergic to milk and grass.” Is all that I can think of to say as I am now face to face with five pairs of curious eyes as well as having a much more demanding child in my arms.

 

All I get back in return is an arch of an eyebrow, followed by a nod before she turns to the young man who seems to be waiting off to the side, eyes completely on us. Suddenly, my lack of care with my appearance made itself known as I started to become self-conscious of the eyes on me, standing before everyone in my black gym pants with the white double stripes down the sides and thin long-sleeve black shirt and my worn and unkempt black sneakers. My hair is, thankfully, hidden by a black beanie I had unthinkingly slapped on my head as I was just too tired to even think of dealing with it this morning.

 

Once, I used to take pride and spend time on my appearance. I would refuse to step foot out side my house without look absolutely perfect, but of course that all changed the moment Sydney was born and brought with her little sleep nor the desire to look my best on barely a few hours of sleep.

 

Shrugging to myself mentally, I do another glance around the room before lowering Sydney to the carpeted floor. Looking over towards the door, I see a row of cubbies that seem to only have a few things in them. A small mini-fridge is in a corner. I can feel myself relaxing in my anxiety of leaving her here alone, but by the glance down I can tell that she isn’t even worried about that as she has toddled off to the group of children.

 

I let out a breath at the sight and feel myself unwind from the tight spring I had allowed myself to become due to this new stage in our lives.

 

“Everything will be fine. We have many children of various ages who have allergies and we are cautious of everyone’s health. No one has ever had an allergic reaction while being under our care.” She tells me calmly as she sends me a warm smile before turning her attention back to the young man in the room, “Thomas, this is Bill Kaulitz, the father of our new charge Sydney Kaulitz.” Lauren Trumper says as she motions to me and then my daughter whom seems blissfully unaware of what’s going on around her.

 

The man entrusted with the safety of my child is not at all how I would imagine someone working in childcare should appear. He is rather tall, maybe just a bit shorter than my own height, six-foot-three, with long black corn rolls that hang past his shoulders. His skin tone is a dark olive complexion that leads me to believe that he spends a lot of time outside. The clothes are the surprising thing more than anything else with the overly large khaki pants and tight white t-shirt, not to mention the matching blindingly white shoes.

 

I nod to him in greeting before suddenly remembering something that I don’t recall specifying when setting up Sydney’s spot within this facility.

 

“I am her only parent. No one else has the authority or right to leave this building with her. ”

 

My statement seems to have shocked the two adults in the room, but I didn’t add anymore, just allowing them to take that at face value. I walk over to the cubby hold and find an empty one to hang her diaper bag in –before long she won’t need a diaper bag any longer.

 

“I’ll only be gone for a few hours, three or four but I can be back sooner if I need to be.” I tell them both while turning around before biting the corner of my lip as I shuffle my feet, nodding my head to them both and quickly leaving, not saying anything to Sydney as I have learned from past experiences that doing so will only prolong my departure with her tantrums.

 

~*~*~

 

It was rather surprising just how much faster I have been able to get my errands completed today without having Sydney with me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter with all of my heart and soul but trying to get in and out of a place fast just isn’t done with a curious child attached.

 

All of my last minute paperwork has officially been submitted, and I’ll be starting school with everyone else in less than two weeks. I still have to get all of my school supplies, but that can wait for another day as I still have a few last minute household things to do such as grocery shopping and putting a call through to get cable and internet turned on.

 

Looking at the clock on the dashboard tells me I’ve already spent an hour and 45 minutes dealing with school.

 

Letting out a breath in irritation, I pull out and head to where I know the closest grocery store. Not quite familiar with this new town I’ve moved both my daughter and myself to without any supporting family nearby, I have managed to figure out how to get to my apartment, school, daycare, and the grocery store…but that’s about it. Everything else will be a scavenger hunt.

 

~*~*~

 

I managed to get everything done in just enough time, including going by the apartment to put up all of the new groceries and managing to unpack a few things in the kitchen. Doubt the apartment will ever look completely moved-in but I’m taking steps to attempt it, for Sydney’s sake.

 

Driving to the daycare all, I can think about is that I hope she had an enjoyable time. I’m just dreading that I don’t get there and am told that she is not welcomed back because she refused to share, or was too demanding, or got someone sick, or started a fight with another kid, or ended up taking over the entire classroom with her bossy and demanding ways that she uses on me to get her ways.

 

Parking in one of the few empty spots, I can feel my heart threatening to burst out of my chest with the fear that my child is some kind of tyrant, and I am too late to infuse friendliness and kindness into her nature.

 

Maybe I am being a little dramatic, but Sydney has only ever been with close family and friends for long periods of time. They all give into her demands so easily that she has never had to learn to share with others or even played with children her own age before; in fact, I am probably the youngest person she has ever spent any prolonged periods of time with.

 

The same dinging bell from earlier gives me a scare which causes the same idiotic girl to let out a giggle before leaning across the counter towards me, “Back so soon Mr. Kaulitz?” She asks with a smile as she bounces in the chair, still not doing anything else but leaning across the counter.

 

I simply give her a small smile before nodding my head at her, then walking down the hallway and to the classroom from earlier. I wasn’t lead to believe that Sydney would be going outside and that reminds me that I’ll have to find her a local doctor to get her prescription for asthma medication, being allergic to grass is not fun for an active little girl who likes to get into everything possible.

 

Slowing down my pace, I stop outside of the doorway and wait for a moment. No sounds of crying or shouts of demands coming from the other side so I take a deep breath before knocking and then opening the door slowly.

 

I see three of them, Sydney included, playing quietly in the center of the room with some dolls while three others I notice are off in a corner lying down on mats apparently having a nap. The same guy from earlier, Thomas is sitting down Indian style with a tiara and a sparkly boa wrapped around his neck as he watches them.

 

All I can do is bite my lip to not let out a laugh and possibly disturb the napping children. Apparently I make an unconscious noise as suddenly everyone’s eyes are one me before Sydney’s little legs carry her so fast to me that I’m surprised she didn’t stumble over herself. I let out a brief laugh before I grab her and pull her up to place a kiss on her forehead.

 

A tight knot that had been forming in my gut over the past 30 minutes suddenly dissipates with her in my arms.

 

“I make friends daddy!” She exclaims as she wraps her arms around my neck before landing a slobbery kiss on my check.

 

I just giggle at her before returning her slobbery kiss on her own cheek, “So glad to hear honey, you can tell me all about it in the car.” I tell her softly, trying to be mindful of the still sleeping children.

 

My attention is snapped from my giggling daughter at my side by the clearing of a throat, looking up I see Thomas standing there sans tiara and glittery boa.

 

“That was a good look for you.” I tell him with a raised eyebrow and a smirk as I can still see some clinging pink feathers on his form fitting white shirt.

 

He just shrugs before giving me a weak smile, “Sometimes I gotta make sacrifices for the kids.” Is all he tells me before motioning towards the door, I stop for a moment to grab her black and white diaper bag.

 

“How was she?” are the first words out of my mouth the moment we are both standing in the doorway of the classroom, where I can see his eyes constantly darting to the remaining children in the room.

 

“Sydney was very well behaved and had not problems playing with others. There were a few times she became demanding but after allowed a time to calm down she was fine. For this being her first time socially interacting with children, she did remarkably well.” Thomas tells me quickly, never once making eye contact and keeps a good amount of space between us. He seems to be very attentive and straightforward…interesting.

 

“Uh huh…” I tell him with a frown on my lips as I look down at my daughter with a knowing look before looking back up at Thomas, “I’m sure. She is an only child so she does tend to get her way and unfortunately she is the only grandchild currently.” I inform him with a shrug at the end.

 

Watching him just nod his head at me before sending me a small smile before darting a look down at Sydney, “Will you be bringing her back tomorrow?” Thomas asks me.

 

Darting down to see Sydney’s reaction to the question, she isn’t paying us any notice instead all of her attention is in the room and on the children. All I can do is just smirk at Sydney, now that she has played with children her own age she wants to go back. “I don’t think I have much choice in the matter.” I remark dryly before hefting her bag up on my shoulder and grabbing her little hand that has clamped down on my sweat pants.

 

“We will be back tomorrow for the morning class, so eight?” I ask, wanting to make sure as I’m trying to do all the organization of my day tomorrow.

 

“Uh, yea, classes start tomorrow at eight am sharp.” Tom replies with a confused look on his face before he looks back into the room where one of the little girls apparently snatched something from another little girl.

 

“Alright, say good bye to Mr. Thomas, Sydney.” I say to my distracted daughter who seems to just wave due to my prompting as she follows me out of the building and to the car. 


End file.
